Category Archives: contemplations of mr. charles

contemplations of mr. charles

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Charliei must say, i am starting to warm to this “elinor”.  she smells good.  and she has a pretty cute little face.  i like to hang out with her in her toy paradise that mom bought for her amusement.  boy, she is spoiled.  where is MY toy paradise mom?  regardless, she is a good playmate.  sometimes i get to lick her fingers and the occasional ear or two.  and once i tried to lick up some stuff that she spit out of her mouth, which i can only assume was for me, but mom would have none of that.  apparently that is “gross charlie” and mom shooed me away.  mostly, she just sits there and makes her tiny human sounds.  i don’t quite understand her language but mom seems to.  mom has started talking to her in goos and ghees and gahs and pfffs.  the two of them sound pretty silly, if you ask me.  i like to respond to all this nonsense with a sassy little grumble, just to stay involved in the conversation as to not be left out of any inside jokes.

all in all, life is good with the tiny human.  if staring and drooling and swatting and batting and ear-tugging means love…then she must like me an awful lot.

contemplations of mr. charles

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greetings, ladies and gentlemen.

well…things have really changed around here.  we now have a tiny human living with us.  you know that elinor that everyone was talking about?  well, turns out she is a tiny human.  she has some fur on her head which i like to sniff and occasionally groom with my tongue, only when my mom and dad aren’t looking.  she makes funny sounds all the time – squeaks and hiccups and sighs.  she also makes a really loud “waaahh” noise every so often.  i don’t like that sound and i don’t think my parents like it either.

since bringing her home, coco and i have been trying to adjust.  coco has accepted things rather quickly.  she just wags her tail and visits from time to time before lying down on her furry blanket.  i, on the other hand, have taken up my post as protector of the tiny human.  from the first moment i met her, i knew that i needed to take care of her.  this is my charge.  i stand guard while mom feeds her and i stay on high alert whenever others come to our home and try to hold her.  i do my best to make sure people don’t make her “waaahh”.  and i sit nearby while she is eats and burps and sleeps – just to make sure that she isn’t disturbed.

i must say that i am quite enjoying my new life as elinor guardian.  i think that we will get along rather swimmingly.

contemplations of mr. charles

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raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
brown paper packages tied up with strings
these are a few of my favorite things

cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
these are a few of my favorite things

…

well, you know what’s NOT one of my favorite things…?

“brown paper packages tied up with strings” that have nothing to do with me.

mom and dad have been bringing a lot of new things into the house lately and you know what?  none of it is for me!  none of my favorite things!  no chicken.  no treats.  no prosciutto [that's right, i like my bacon fancy].  nada.  zilch.  and even when they do bring home a little toy, it turns out, it isn’t for me!  can you believe it?  what is going on!?  they keep saying things like “for baby” and “elinor is coming”.  fine.  but, where are my presents?

and would you take a look at this contraption?

what the…?

will someone please tell me what am i supposed to do with that thing?

dad won’t let me climb in it.

mom doesn’t like when i sneeze at it.

i am pretty sure i won’t be allowed to nibble on it.

what kind of toy is that?

they brought it in the house, dad fiddled with it for a bit, mom looked at some booklet thingy, and then they took it out where the cars live.  are they just messing with me now?  and does it get to go for a ride in the car without me.  things just keep getting worse for me.

i am not sure how i feel about all of this.  hopefully this “elinor” that they keep saying is coming soon will make things better.  maybe all these other things are the lame gifts for my parents to play with and this “elinor” will be for me!  something that i can play with finally.  my parents seem to think she will be pretty great.  they get really excited when they talk about her.  well, let me tell you folks, i get dibs on the good present.  this “elinor” is mine.  she will be my buddy.  you can keep your strange black contraption and all of those fabric items with the snaps. onesies, i think you call them?  what kind of a name is “onesie” anyway?  fine.  you keep your “onesie”.  i will take the “elinor”.

contemplations of mr. charles

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good-day gals and gents,

today i would like to contemplate the idea of sharing.  i don’t like to share.  especially when papa gives me one of his socks to enjoy.  how i love socks!  i love to ball them up in my mouth and prance around the room as i proudly display my prize.  i even have a little prance-dance that i like to do.  it involves a waggily tail and squiggly behind.  i puff up my chest and stroll about with a wide stance.  once i have thoroughly strutted, i like to bring my soggy sock to papa and delicately place it at his feet.  i don’t give it up willingly, of course.  he has to risk my fierce nibbles in order to snatch the sock away.  but, once he has it in his possession…the game begins.  he will teasingly whip it back and forth, trying to throw me off my game.  but, i’m no fool.  i keep my gaze fixed on that sock.  never wavering.  until, the release!  then, it is run and pounce time.  it is also about this time when coco says “heeeyyy!  how come i don’t get to play?” in the whiniest of voices [mama and papa just hear her little raspy bark, but i know what is really being said].  she stands back and barks while shooting a desperate glance or so to papa.  meanwhile, papa and i keep at our play.  i usually maintain this activity for about 4 minutes.  after which, i will retire with my sock for a little nibble time on the floor.  at this point, coco tries to get in on the fun.  it usually starts with her facing me and trying to stare me down.  when that doesn’t work, she will try to lick my eyeball which i can only imagine is just her feeble attempt to distract me.  weird.  then, she strategically bites the end of he sock and tries to paw at my face to get me to release.  foolish girl.  then, she will go at it from another angle to try to pull it from my mouth.  nope.  finally, she nibbles and nibbles to see if she can get close enough to my mouth for me to let the sock go.  no cigar.  this repeats for about 3 or so minutes until she relents or until i start up the fetching again.

mama thinks that i should “be sweet to my sister” and give her some of the sock.  i disagree.  when it comes to socks.  you have to fight.  you have to rip that sucker away from me.  barking to mama won’t work.  licking my eyeball will not work.  i will not be manipulated or trifled with.  i will admit that if i cannot be overtaken by fighting, all you really need to do is outlast me.  this seems to work for coco.  at some point, i become tired of the sock and decide that it is nap on the lap time.  this is when coco can swoop in and take the sock.  and, she does.  of course, unlike me, coco likes to share.  so she usually brings it over to me and tries to get some playtime started.  she must like me or something.  hmmm…

that coco.  she is just too nice.

contemplations of mr. charles

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good day, fine people.  today, i would like to discuss a little thing called bathtime.  every so often, i am forced to participate in this ritual.  the signs are clear:  towels, shampoo, brush, running water, and the removal of my collar.  these all point to one end – bathtime.  i am actually a pretty good sport, all things considered.  i straddle the sink and stand patiently as my mom lathers and rinses.  sure, the warm water feels nice and i even get to enjoy a mini massage.  and, i won’t even complain about the brushing and drying.  but, the whole process is still an inconvenience to me.  sometimes, i get soap in my mouth [see picture number four above].  sometimes, i have to get my nails clipped. sometimes, it takes way too long to brush out my ears to get rid of the knots and make them extra fluffy.  the grooming experience can be an annoyance.

however, during this weekend’s bathtime, my mom reminded me of the needtobreathe song, washed by the water…

even when the rain falls, even when the flood starts rising, even when the storm comes, i am washed by the water.

this did make me stop and ponder [i had plenty of pondering time while mom was drying and brushing and fluffing and coiffing] the idea of bathtime.  i started thinking about it in a new light.  even though the water can be inconvenient, bothersome, or even painful…it still washes.  sure, i may not always enjoy it, but the result is a clean, new me.  i do feel much better after a bath.  and it does feel good to be all shiny and bright and fresh.  i will remember this next time mom starts running the water in the sink…even when the faucet is turned on, even when the water fills the sink, even when i get water in my eyes…i am washed by the water.  it is good to be clean.

contemplations of mr. charles

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good day, fine readers.  today i would like to discuss a passage that my mom has been reading to me a lot.  philippians 2:14 ”do all things without grumbling or questioning”. 

now this bible passage begs a quite apropos question…why?  [yes, i realize that i am questioning the passage about questioning] isn’t it enough that i obey and do what i am supposed to do?  why do i have to do it with a good attitude as well?  for example, mom will ask me to sit.  i will eventually acquiesce.  but sometimes, i don’t really want to.  i do it.  but, i don’t want to do it.  and on those occasions when i am not inclined to sit, i feel it is important that she knows i am not exactly thrilled to be obeying.  again, i will sit because i want to obey and be called a “good boy” but it doesn’t mean that i have to go down without a fight.  right?

mom thinks it is a good idea to use a visual to prove the point.  so, here is a video of one of said “sit” interactions of late.

[yes, yes.  i know i am quite dashing]

please note that i did, indeed obey.  but mom seems to think that this doesn’t count.  in fact, right after she recorded this little video, she looked over at dad and said, “isn’t that a perfect visual representation of that verse about grumbling?!”  her observations continued thusly…

charlie is the ultimate grumbler.  he does what he is asked to do, but always has to get in the grumbles under his breath.  he will sigh and stomp his feet and squiggle and squirm.  he will eventually obey. but never without some huffing and puffing.  how often do i do this in the course of a day?  i am asked to do something and while i will do it – i try to fit in a few remarks on the side or dramatic sighs.  how often do i do that with God?  He asks me to trust Him and obey…but i want to do what i want to do.  i want to be in control and do it when i want to do it – how i want to do it.  questioning questioning.  He shows me the way to go and directs my steps but i shuffle my feet, kick up dust, and meander a bit.  grumbling grumbling. 

it isn’t enough to “just do it”.  it isn’t as easy as outwardly obeying.  God looks at the heart.  sometimes i do things just to say that i obeyed, perhaps because i am trying for a tasty treat or that “attaboy” from my Master.  but, again, that isn’t true obedience.  the Lord looks at the heart.  the heart must be inclined toward Him and obedient – without a grumbling spirit.

okay.  i see your point mom.  i need to work on obedience with a cheerful heart instead of just doing things for the treats or pats on the head.  i can’t sit on the outside while my heart is standing tall in defiance on the inside.  i guess i should work on my grumbles.

i hope that my display of the grumbles has helped to elucidate this passage of scripture.  i know that my mom has learned a lot.  class dismissed.

contemplations of mr. charles

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[cute vivaldi-esque musical overture]

and now, it is time once again for contemplations of mr. charles with mr. charles winston squigglebottom whitehouse.

‘ello there gals and gents and a very ‘appy new year!  thank you for joining me today.  i have been pondering life as i prepare for a new year. and as such, i have decided to make some resolutions.

i thought, at first, that i would just use the resolutions of jonathan edwards since mom & dad seem to be fans…

  1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God’s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad’s of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.
  2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things.
  3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.
  4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.
  5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.
  6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.

however, while they are remarkable resolutions [and things that mom & dad are going to diligently pursue] there are way more than six of them so this post would be a bittoo lengthy.  so, i decided to jot down a few of my own [mom helped with the jotting]

  1. eat more food and put on some weight
  2. don’t roll my eyes as much
  3. try not to grumble and stomp my little paws
  4. sit on dad’s lap more [so that he doesn't think that i like mom more...even though i kinda do]
  5. play with my sister more [and by "play" i cannot mean "inappropriate frolicking" with my sister.  mom doesn't approve]
  6. wear more clothes.  i look good in them.
  7. try to not get all crazy eyed and leap-y when mom & dad are cooking in the kitchen, especially chicken…
  8. share my bones.  i don’t always have to be the winner.

well, that should get me off to a good start.  i promise to post my progress throughout the year.  here’s to a stupendous 2012!

contemplations of mr. charles

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from time to time, mr. charles [that is his fancy nickname] will be guest-posting his thoughts on life.  it should be a fascinating post since he has major smarts and plenty of attitude.  i like to think that if he could talk [using actual words instead of his characteristic dog quips of grunts, snuffs, and grumbles], he would speak with the voice of sir winston churchill.

isn’t he just so sassy?  look at him!  oh, mr. charles.