Category Archives: mama musings

mama musings

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part of elinor’s bedtime routine is a bit of piano with papa.  {check out these two in action here} as you can see, it is pretty darn precious.  elinor doesn’t exactly “tickle” the ivories.  it is more of a spastic thrust or smack at this point.  but we have plenty of time to work on her form and finesse.  for now, we are just loving her zeal.  she gets so excited when she is plopped down on her papa’s lap.  she breathes in deeply and reaches out toward the sheet music with wild eyes.  mostly, she just wants to get her little fingers on the pages so she can nibble on the notes and spread her drooly goodness…but we like to think that she is just our tiny prodigy who can’t get enough music. {delusional parents alert}  then she places her hands on the keys and plays a note or two or three while papa harmonizes or resolves the melody or other such musical jargon that i know nothing about…

anyway, in addition to her contemporary composition skills, our little einstein on the beach has also figured out another neat trick.  she has learned how to wrap her parents around her highly capable finger!  she has rather quickly come to understand that her parents are praise-giving fools.  just once, after a particularly rousing performance, ben and i clapped and let out a simultaneous “yeeeaaaahhhh!”.  well, that pretty much did it.  now, after every few notes that she plays, elinor retracts her hands in one swift and dramatic motion and shoots me an expectant glance.  “mama?  approving applause, please…” she says with her eyes.  uh oh.  we have created an applause junky.  and she does it every time now.  and what on earth am i supposed to do?  just sit there and pretend like her playing is just no big deal and withhold clapping from the cutest thing i have ever seen?  fat chance.

well, looks like we are creating a little diva.  great.  i guess we have managed to hold off for a decent chunk of time. who had their money on 28 weeks?

mama musings

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i found this post and just had to share.  these are such good reminders.

i might need to commission some fabulous printer to make this into a fancy print for me to frame and hang in our home.  i’m sure etsy has a store for that…

Advice for Raising Godly Children
John Witherspoon – Scottish Presbyterian pastor, President of Princeton (1768-1794), and signer of the Declaration of Independence.
  1. The best exercise in the world for children is to let them romp and jump about, as soon as they are able, according to their own fancy.
  2. A parent that has once obtained and knows how to preserve authority will do more by a look of displeasure, than another by the most passionate words and even blows. It holds universally in families and schools, and even the greater bodies of men, the army and navy, that those who keep the strictest discipline give the fewest strokes.
  3. There is not a more disgusting sight than the impotent rage of a parent who has no authority.
  4. I have heard some parents often say that they cannot correct their children unless they are angry; to whom I have usually answered, then you ought not to correct them at all.
  5. Nothing can be more weak and foolish, or more destructive of authority, than when children are noisy and in an ill humor, to give them or promise them something to appease them.
  6. Let it always be seen that you are more displeased at sin than at folly.
  7. Nothing is more destructive of authority than frequent disputes and chiding upon small matters. This is often more irksome to children than parents are aware of.
  8. I am fully persuaded that the plainest and shortest road to real politeness of carriage, and the most amiable sort of hospitality is to think of others just as a Christian ought, and to express these thoughts with modesty and candor.
  9. Many parents are much more ready to tell their children such or such a thing is mean, and not like a gentleman, than to warn them that they will incur the displeasure of their Maker.
  10. It is a very nice thing in religion to know the real connection between, and the proper mixture of, spirit [i.e., matters of the heart] and form [i.e., disciplines like family worship and church attendance]. The form without the spirit is good for nothing; but on the other hand, the spirit without the form never yet existed.

mama musings

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Taken and processed with Cameramatic app.

you know what i love?  mirrors.  mirror playtime is amazing.   elinor makes faces and watches as the expressions of “baby in the mirror” change.  she also likes to blow bubbles and look goofy to try to evoke a response from mama.  such a ham.  and i must add that her mama gets in on the act too.  i mean, is there anything sweeter than making your baby smile and giggle.  nope.  isn’t it amazing the lengths to which we will go in order to get that smirk or laugh?  i sure am smitten.

i just had to capture this precious moment.  two funny faces in the mirror.  with matching raised eyebrows and everything.  i hope that elinor always wants to play and take silly pictures with me.

mama musings

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one of my very favorite things?  the walk upstairs to put this little bundle down for a nap.  when miss elinor gets sleepy and is finished with playtime, she rubs her eyes, tosses to and fro, and begins searching for her thumb.  this is my cue.  i scoop her up and take her upstairs.  in some kind of precious baby pavlovian response, elinor grabs my sleeve with her right hand, sucks on her left thumb, lets out a sweet sigh, and curls herself up, nuzzling right under my collarbone.  every time.  every day.  every nap.  and it just melts me.  ya know?  wowee.  thank you, Heavenly Father for these sweet moments in life.

i just had to chronicle this so i will never forget that overwhelming feeling of mama bliss.  that’s all.

live the one day well

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the thought is, that each day is, in a certain sense, a complete life by itself. it has its own duties, its own trials, its own burdens, and its own needs. it has enough to fill heart and hands for the one full day. we cannot live its life well, and use any of its strength outside of itself. the very best we can do for any day, for the perfecting of our life as a whole, is to live the one day well. we should put all our thought and energy and skill into the duty of each day, wasting no strength, either in grieving over yesterday’s failures, or in anxiety about tomorrow’s responsibilities.

i have seen this excerpt by j.r. miller pop up here and there in the past few weeks and went on the hunt for the full article.  what a meaningful reminder – and i need it daily.  and isn’t it freeing to live life this way?  one day at a time.  relying on the manna from above to sustain us.  the daily supply that is new each morning.  we don’t need to hoard or fret about tomorrow.  each day we are given just what we need to make it through.  our focus should be to live the one day well.  put all our thought and energy and skill into the duty of each day.  live it fully.  pour ourselves out.  leave nothing behind.  and soak up all the goodness.

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i have been so inspired by my little miss elinor.  she makes me consider my hours.  what am i spending my time on?  am i present?  am i giving it my all?  or am i wasting time or blowing my hours thinking about the next thing while i should be engaged and enjoying what God has given me now.  she wakes up and greets each day with a smile, ready to get going.  she savors her meals.  she plays and observes and engages until she has nothing left and then she rests to regain the strength needed to do it all again.  she doesn’t waste her days.  she is always learning or trying something new.  she doesn’t consider yesterday’s failures – she just does it again until she gets it.  she doesn’t worry about the future - potty training, learning to read, social pressure, school, performance, appearance – she just takes it moment by moment.  this, this is faith like a child.  not a license to be immature in our belief, but relying on our savior for our needs moment by moment.  accepting His daily supply and then living the one day well.  our Christian walk becomes a series of victorious days that are strung together into a pattern of progress.  perfecting the little things in life so that our life becomes characterized by those holy things. living the one day well.  day by day.

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would you look at that little blonde drooly-puss?

speaking of miss elinor…let me just gush for a bit about my baby girl and her recent actions that have just wowed and delighted her mama and papa:

  • her 4th percentile body can hold up her 66th percentile head like a champ
  • she is scooting and wiggling around like a little caterpillar
  • she responds to her reflection
  • she flips from tummy to back as often as possible, unless she is in the mood to just chill on her tummy
  • she had her first big time giggle-fest yesterday {be still my heart…cutest thing i have ever heard} guess what did it?  swaying around with her and doing a goofy mama jiggle dance {choreography} while singing “skinamarinky dinky dink”

mama musings

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{elinor in her element.  hanging out with her bug buddies.  squawking like a velociraptor.  carpe-ing their faces and legs.}

so i stumbled upon this post from momastery and thought it was an interesting perspective on the whole carpe diem thing.  and i especially love her discussion of chronos and kairos time.

here’s to seizing and savoring those kairos moments in life… 

mama musings

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{miss elinor wearing one of her great-grandmama’s scarves}

couldn’t you just melt?  i know. 

she is one cutie pie and smarty pants.  and speaking of smarty pants, or in this case, smarty diapers…

ben and i were having a quintessential parental conversations the other day.  you know the one where you project into your child’s future and imagine all the wonderful things that she will do and experience?  the one where you start {insanely, prematurely} freaking out about colleges and therefore, kindergartens?  this was only exacerbated by our receiving a copy of some kind of how-to-have-the-bestest-brightest-cutest-hippest-happiest-healthiest-most-over-scheduled-kid-in-arizona-seriously-you-better-read-me-cover-to-cover-and-get-moving-or-you-will-be-labeled-as-a-loser-parent-and-your-child-will-be-a-nobody magazine, a publication of the guilt company.  so, we actually, seriously, truly discussed where our three month old should attend kindergarten.  yup.  we are those people now.  and yes, we have a few in mind. and no, i am not going to disclose for fear of the toddler saboteurs who might be reading this blog and who might attempt to wreck our chances of admittance.

{sigh}

but seriously, hasn’t it gotten a little out of control?  i mean, i am all about a solid education and encouraging intelligence and learning.  but does it all have to be about social ladders and connections and fast tracks and intelligence exams.  that’s right.  some prestigious kindergartens have actual admittance exams.  wsj just did an article on this very subject.  head over here to check it out AND take the test for yourself.  how did you do?  what do you think?  keeping in mind that even if you do well, it only means that you are on par with nyc toddlers, soooo…

mama musings {plus some bonus fun links for your weekend}

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bath face

yup.  that is my daughter.  and i am partially responsible for forming that sweet little one.  for raising her up and training her.  molding her perspective.  shaping her personality.  i need to be a model for her.  i want to be an example of health and balance.  i want to surround her with truth and beauty.  i want her to be secure in her identity.  knowing that she belongs to Christ and is loved by Him. deeply feeling a sense of safety and belonging in our family.  that home is a place where she has the freedom to explore and learn and develop – and to be her authentic self.  i want to encourage her so that she is bold whenever she enters the world.

whew!  a tall order indeed.  i just keep praying that ben and i are continuously equipped to parent this little life.  i just want to do it well, you know?

recently, i stumbled across this lisa bloom article and thought it was quite interesting.  i must say that i am all about telling girls that they are beautiful.  {ahem…would you look at that adorable little face pictured above?} God made girls in a uniquely girl-like way.  we should celebrate this and make sure that our little girls know how precious they are.  each one a princess and cherished by The King.  however, it shouldn’t necessarily end {or begin} there.  it can be so easy to default to “awwh, aren’t you cute!”  especially with all those frilly outfits, big bows, sparkly dresses, and bright eyes… but i want to make sure to raise up a daughter who knows she is more than just all of that.  more than just a pretty face {and my, my…she has one pretty face!}  she has a deeper identity.  she has been given a mind to be used to form intelligent thoughts and participate in discourse.  she has been given a spirit that should be even more lovely and bright than her blue eyes.  she has personality.  she has a body that should be kept strong and healthy so that it is a fit temple for the Holy Spirit and can be used to serve others.  yes, she can put effort into her appearance.  yes, i hope that people compliment her.  yes, she can be lovely.  but the body isn’t just for dressing in cute clothes.  she is so much more than cute clothes.  she is so much more than a pretty face.  and for that matter, she is so much more than a smart cookie…or a talented musician…or a gifted writer…or an advanced reader…or you name it.  she is a child of God.  “charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  i pray that the Lord helps us “bring her up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

:: amen ::

 

 and now…here is a smattering of links for you to enjoy on this fabulous friday.  happy weekend!

this collection of teacups and teapots

a gummy bear chandelier!  say whaaat?

modern victorian home decor

a simplistic and elegant italian-inspired wedding

um, this necklace

these leggings for future miss elinor

glitter oxfords  love?  hate? {i hope you didn’t say “hate” because i have some of these babies on order}

this is ourselves under pressure {dum, dum, dum, da-da-dum-dum}

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so, i am someone’s mama now.  i have a daughter.  this is quite the identity shift.  good-ness.  a tiny little person now looks at me with helpless wonder.  i have to take care of her.  my decisions directly influence her life.  her wellbeing.  her personality. her identity.  her outlook.  kind of heavy, no?  but wow, so good.  such a tremendous blessing.

but boy oh boy, there are so many decisions to make!  and they come at you fast and furious from the first moment of life.  two seconds after labor ends, the choices begin.  because before you can bat an eye, you are handed a sweet little bundle and immediately make the leap from pregnant lady to mother.  the last nine months worth of pregnancy literature is tossed out the window and now you have to know about how to care for a little one.  nurses ask you questions.  you have to provide nourishment.  you have legal documents to sign.  do you want newborn photos?  meanwhile, you are elbow deep in meconium diapers and still rocking your swanky hospital garb.  and then the real decisions come. and with each one, a corresponding judgement by others.  whether it is stated or simply perceived judgment, it feels real: would you like the vitamin k eye goop? (or do you want your baby to get an eye infection) will she receive the immunizations? (or are you one of those people) breast or bottle? (breast is best, bottles are for slackers)  sheesh.

now if you have made it to this point, you have already weathered the judgey-wudgy-ness of pregnancy.  you are having a med free birth? (good luck.  yeah right.  you will cave and get the epidural.)  how are you feeling?  great? (oh.  well, just wait until the next one.  you are lucky.  i hope the baby is as easy on you once she arrives…)  look at you!  (you are so small!  you look like you are about to pop!)  and round and round we go.  people are so strange with their comments.  it is like they just have to point out the downside for fear that you will be too positive.  thank you people.  there are so many positive people in my life who utter kind words and offer prayers.  elinor is blessed to have loving family and kind influences.  however, i have been shocked by the amount of “other” comments that have been less than warm and fuzzy.  strangers and acquaintances who feel the need to point out the flipside.

you make all these decisions and just pray that God protects your little one.  and no matter how much you research and feel comfortable with your choices, there are always the nay-sayers and dooms-dayers there to make you second guess and feel discouraged.  just when you are feeling good…just when you are settling into motherhood and breastfeeding and baby hygiene and scheduling and sleeping…someone says something insensitive and rude.  and why do these remarks seem to come from women?  women!  mothers!  people who have been through that fragile time.  what is that?  shouldn’t women be the most understanding and encouraging?  why then do women get so sassy?  it isn’t always blatant, sometimes it is just a tone.  but it is there.  and you can’t win.  there is always another opinion.

you are breastfeeding?  good luck having a life.

you are bottle feeding?  so you are just selfish and don’t want what is best for your child.

you are vaccinating?  so you think it is okay to inject poison into your baby’s tiny system.  you must want them to have developmental issues…

you aren’t vaccinating?  so you want your baby to get polio.

you are co-sleeping?  you must enjoy needy, weirdo children.

your baby sleeps in a crib?  so you want your child to be detached and sad.  good luck bonding.

you demand feed?  your baby will be selfish and you must do it to fulfill your own needs.

you schedule feed?  so you don’t care about the needs of your baby.

you are using a pacifier?  cheater.  and have fun with that nipple confusion…

you have been out on a date with your husband already? wow.  i could never leave my precious baby this soon.

you aren’t baby-wearing?  too bad you won’t have a real attachment to your child.

you are baby-wearing?  what are you, some kind of hippie?  enjoy your co-dependent child.

what kind of stroller are you using?  oh, that is an interesting choice.

how is her tummy time quality?  you know how vital that is.

how is she eating?  oh, she is a good eater?  well, just you wait until you introduce solids / just wait until she teethes / just wait until…

are you getting any sleep?  wow.  she has been sleeping through the night since five weeks?  ha. i’m sure you won’t be so lucky with the next / just you wait until you introduce solids / just wait until she teethes / just wait until…

and round and round we go.

you feel discouraged and stressed and pressured.  and it is so senseless.  i mean, don’t we put enough pressure on ourselves to be übermom?  why let the words of others seep in and mess with our minds too?   each day has enough trouble of its own.  how about we all just make a pact to speak words of encouragement to each other.  come on preggos and mamas!  let us just be kind.  let us open our ears and arms and close our mouths.  let us pray instead of preach.  let us speak words of blessing.  let us lift each other up instead of comparing.  let us inspire and learn from each other instead of passing judgement.  this whole mama thing is such a remarkable thing.  such a meaningful calling.  how about taking a deep breath, allowing ourselves to just enjoy the experience, praying for the wisdom and grace to make it through another day or growth spurt or stage, and quit it with all the pressure-cooker parenting.

…

footnote:  this new role of mine has inspired a new feature on the blog, mama musings.  i plan to feature stories of amazing mamas and also use it as a place for my honest experiences with our sweet little E.  stay tuned.  and drop me an email at swankyanddapper@gmail.com if you have something to share.