Tag Archives: love

a bona fide mama on mother’s day

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i get to be mama to this little cutie.

this was my first mother’s day with  my sweet daughter in my arms.  not just existing in hope and prayer or as an itty-bitty in my belly…she is here.  my child.  with her sassy eyeballs and gatsby-esque head decoration.  wearing a delicate, intricate, heirloom christening gown.  ben and i are so honored and blessed to be chosen to parent this precious gift.

on sunday, we dedicated her life to the Lord.  it was such a meaningful day.  thank you Heavenly Father for entrusting us with this gift and calling.

psalm 127:3-5

children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!

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and would you look at my handsome man?  he is such a wonderful papa.  loving and sweet and protective and prayerful and playful.  these two make a mama go all mushy.

dear peanut {six months}

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happy six months, my sweet little peanut! 

a very merry half birthday to you.

{did i just type half birthday?  as in, half way to one year old? good gracious.}

how happy and effervescent are you?  big eyes.  expressive brows.  wispy, warm blonde hair.  button nose.  wide, gummy grin that extends all the way to your long, curled toes.  your strong and chub-a-licious legs.

and those bright pantaloons.  dressing you is getting better and better.  although, i have imposed a bit of a fancywear embargo for our everyday apparel since you are such a droolypuss.  and talk about much ado about nothing!  not a tooth to be found.  any day now, i expect one of those pearly whites to just pop through, officially signaling your passage from infanthood into toddlerness.  but, in spite of the salivafest, nothing dental to report.  {hold off, little tooth.  stay safely nestled in those precious pink gums.  let my baby girl be a baby for just a smidge longer.  pretty please.}

by the way, you are in the 2nd percentile for height and weight.  tinier than 98% of the baby population.  the doctor just giggles as she reads it.  she thinks you are the cutest, petite little bundle.  and she is sufficiently impressed by your half-year-mark abilities.  you are small.  but FIERCE.  determined and strong.  frankly, your papa and i are already shuddering at your will.  ever since you learned that rolling is a handy way to get around, you are all over the place.  and fast too.  as soon as i plop you down, you are on the move.  rolling and shifting and grunting and flapping your arms wildly, beating on your belly little a little drum.  you pull at the blanket and shimmy until everything is just so…and then, you are off again.  rolling, rolling, rolling.

it is amazing to watch as your brain processes the world around you.  making connections.  perceiving space.  comprehending relationships.  now, when you see a toy {or anything that tickles your fancy, for that matter. fabric, earrings, ponytails, dog ears, etc.} that is outside of your reach, the wheels begin turning as you concoct a plan for how to get your little fingers on it.  it usually involves some grunts of frustration, a few furrowed brow glances at papa, followed by strategic rolls and flops and toe curls and pulls…and then, voila! your little fingers arrive at your desired location.  you grasp for your toy, pull it toward yourself, clutch it lovingly, and flop over onto your back in sheer victory and delight.  and while it isn’t pleasant to hear your sounds of annoyance and see you strain, it is pure magic to see your face in that moment.  that moment when you realize what you have overcome and accomplished.  and then, your parents realize how much you have grown.  how big you are.  you are doing so much.  you have such an independent streak.  we can already tell that you are going to keep us on our toes.  that you will challenge us.  that you have soooo much more that you are eager to learn and do.  that you have a big and bold personality locked and loaded in that tiny frame. “and though she be but little, she is fierce.”  that you will be complex and contemplative and analytical.  you will surprise us and enchant us.  bright, bright, bright.

we can’t wait to watch as your personality continues to develop.  we can’t wait to see what God has in store for you.  and we pray that God equips us to parent you with grace and strength.  may we point you to Him.  may you love Him deeply and follow after Him passionately.  may your childlike wonder continue as you explore His world and His words.  may you hold His promises to your chest and treasure them in your heart.  may you savor His presence.  may you experience and rely on His tender kindness and mercies.  we look forward to watching you as you grasp for and cling to His Word with tenacity and untamed love.  we pray that you will comprehend His precepts, revel in the joy and freedom that He provides, and walk boldly and victoriously.  “let her sleep, for when she wakes she will move mountains.”  through the power of Christ’s redeeming love – in Christ alone, soli Deo gloria - may you move mountains little girl.

love, love, love,

your mama + your papa

a little night music

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miss elinor and her papa tickled the ivories together in a charming little duet the other night.

melt a mama’s heart, why don’t ya.

p.s. i am clearly already outnumbered in the musical ability department.  sheesh.

dear peanut {five months}

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happy five months, little miss elinor!  that is one whole hand’s worth.  just a few weeks shy of your half-birthday.  eeep!

you are five months…going on fifth grade.  personality is bubbling out all over the place.  you are effervescent.  and, at times, somewhat scary.  you will be a handful, for sure.  no shortage of attitude and energy and opinions and zest and personality here.  no ma’am.  but, we wouldn’t want it any other way.  and the battles of the will are already beginning.  for example: your new favorite is bathtime flailing.  on one hand, super cute.  you are discovering that you can lift your bottom up and then plop yourself down and all the water will rush up onto your belly.  you also like to plug the faucet with your big toe so that the water sprays every which way.  and, you like to spread out your hands and place them on the surface of the water like one of those water strider bugs and then you slowly raise your hands up before…splash!  okay, but on the other hand, potentially hazardous.  you have also discovered that you can kick the knobs and make them move.  and while i applaud your chimpanzee dexterity, it also freaks me out when you get your toes on the cold water knob because you never kick it to make the water colder…you always shut that guy off.  leaving only a stream of hot water.  {pretty sure this tops the caring for an infant no-no list}  and so, i find myself washing you with one hand while keeping the other up as a blocker.  which you have taken as a challenge, of course.  break through the barrier!  get to the hot water so i can burn my delicate baby belly skin!  with every kick attempt, i respond with a firm, “no elinor” and a grab of the foot.  and my oh my, you aren’t too keen on that.  you arch your back and furrow your brow…and wind up for another kick.  determined and defiant little thing.  and i am not trying to be the ogre who ruined bathtime but jeepers, i don’t think you will enjoy third-degree burns.  sheesh.  and so, my prayers are that i will be able to engage you firmly and with grace.  that the battles to come will result in softer spirits and molded wills.  that your papa and i can protect you while also teaching you to discern and navigate without our assistance.  most of all, we just pray that God shows us what to do next.

you are quite persnickety about your naptime, my dear.  you love your sleep.  but you want it done a certain way.  we have created a creature of habit.  i just know that you will have a super chic dayplanner like me one day and we can be all nerdy together and “check our calendars” and “pencil things in” and “check!” things off when we have successfully completed them.  but i hope that you have some enjoy-the-moment-let’s-be-spontaneous-go-with-the-flow-ness in there too.  so…sleep.  you like to go for a solid 12-hour stretch at night and i wake you up around 8:30 for some breakfast.  and i am pretty sure that if you didn’t need to eat to survive, you would keep right on snoozing until noon.  really, you just wake up so that you can enjoy your first meal of the day, roll around a bit, and sing and squeal.  then, you very quickly shift from a ball of happy energy to a sweet little sleepy thing.  the thumbsucking begins and i swoop in and whisk you away for your nap.  what a life.  and when it comes to your nap, you like things just so.  rushing water setting on your sleep sheep.  check.  swaddled up all tight and plopped onto your side.  check.  arms exposed so you have an easy thumb path should you become startled and need a bit of soothing to doze off again.  check.  a super soft blanket draped over you and tucked up by your hands so you can rub it between your fingers as you fall asleep.  check.  and, the most important element:  a solid window for naptime, no less than 1.5 hours in duration.  you don’t mess around.  your papa and i have learned that if we are busy and find ourselves with only 45 minutes for a nap, it is best to just let you play and catnap in our arms or in some kind of carrier contraption.  because “not it!” on being the one who has to wake you up from your truncated nap.  oooohh you give us such a death stare.  chilling.

currently… you love rolling yourself in your blanket like the cutest little burrito bundle.  you drool constantly.  you nibble on everything.  you are fascinated by dishes and cups. {probably because you are smart enough to understand that they are food and beverage vessels}  you like to impress us with your feats of strength, flipping from back to belly and the back again.  you are kind of a mama’s girl which is really cute but can hurt your papa’s feelings.  {i continue to reassure him that this is a phase and that pretty soon i will be old news and he will be her hero}

you have taught us so much in these past months.  and we know that we will all continue to grow and learn together as our little family.  you have taken me out of my type-A comfort zone.  and teach me patience and kindness.  and your sweet papa…oh, he just loves you and wants to wrap you all up and keep you safe.  forever.  he is learning to relax and let you explore the world…and even squawk at inopportune times.  you stretch us, sweet girl.  and we are grateful that God is using itty-bitty you to teach us and mold us.  we want to do this parenting thing well.

i must say that communication is getting better and better.  you are much more vocal these days.  and not just those newborn waaahhs.  you have a whole repertoire.  squawks and squeaks and giggles and ooohs and aaahs and weees.  a sound for every occasion.  and we are starting to understand your cues.  plus, you are adding in new facial expressions to help us along.  some of them are just copycat faces, i’m sure.  but others are indelible parts of your personality.  you have your sassy sideways glance.  you have your own smile of glee.  and you have your serious/focused face.  all you.  it will be so amazing to see how your face changes over the years but still maintains your very own expressions.  and one day, when someone says something absurd and you respond with that wilting sideways glance, i will just about burst.  remembering that very same expression that you have made since you were a wee one in diapers and a feathered headband.

love, love, love,

your mama + your papa

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weekendness

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this was a good weekend.  we enjoyed some much-needed scheduled nothing and got a bunch done.  this is such a busy season.  so when we have a few hours to relax together, plan together, check stuff off the ol’ to-do list together, and eat yummy food together it is perfect.

even though much of the weekend was spent driving here and there and doing thing after thing…we were able to spend some time outside in the delicious springtime sun while savoring some tasty plates, sipping on refreshing beverages, and licking on cones of cold, creamy goodness.  yup.  it was amazing.  it doesn’t get much better than this…

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me and my bearded, specs wearing man + a sweet little peanut chilling in her stroller.  feet up.  tongue out.  + a grapefruit beverage at windsor + cheddar biscuits with gravy and sausage + yes.  i had brunch dessert.  toasted coconut and double chocolate ice cream from churn.  the place is right next door…it is meant to be.  +  miss elinor with her “please papa, please may i have some sausage?” face

how was your weekend?  are you ready for monday? 

 

a few words on marriage from the renowned marriage counselor, ben affleck

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sometimes, God uses the most interesting of people, places, or things to speak into our lives.  recently it was ben affleck, at the oscars, gold statuette in hand.  he spoke about his marriage during his acceptance speech and it just got me thinking about the true meaning of marriage.  and then i read this article.  good stuff.

yes, there are moments of fairytale bliss - birds chirping and swirling around, flowers in bloom, forest creatures singing, glitter and clouds, and such.  but then there are hard days.  hard weeks.  hard months.  hard years, even.  times that are trying.  seasons of sickness. poorer instead of richer.  when the “worse” part of those vows stares you in the face, knocks the wind out of you, and becomes real.  but i must say that i agree with mr. affleck, “it’s good. it is work, but it’s the best kind of work.” 

my God + my hubby + me  the three of us work at it together.  but it’s the best kind of work.

and in those moments of bliss make you understand that God is true to His promises.  and then you just let out a contented sigh as you bask in the blessings of God.  grateful that He has given you someone to walk with and talk with and cry with and laugh with in this life.  He is a good God.  He is a kind and sweet God.  and He has given me a husband who loves me deeply with the love of Christ and who really truly likes me.  we enjoy each other’s company and have so much fun together.  and as long as we keep walking with our Savior…that love grows truer, our life together is a blessing to others, and the work pays off.

dear peanut {four months}

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happy four months, miss elinor!

wow-ee.  four months old, huh?  i can hardly believe that you will be wearing your 6-12 month summer dresses soon.  you are such a big girl.  and i must say, you are an absolute delight.  so cheery and smiley and fun.  little bits of your personality are shining through and it is amazing.  you are so entertaining.  becoming more and more like a little person.

you are quite distracted these days.  your mind is always going as you process the world around you.  it is so funny to see what fascinates you.  a cup, my toes, your fingers, stripes, the wall.  you just can’t get enough of your environment.  your new favorite is your wall of prints in your room.  you will take a break from your bedtime snack to just lounge and stare.  i watch your eyes as they dart around, settle on an image, and then move on to the next.  each one is like a new adventure.  you sigh and smile and ooh and aah.  so darn cute.  and that print of the “peanut riding the unicorn” definitely holds an extra special place in your heart, you seem to have a real connection there.  but you are also mesmerized by the picture of cinderella’s castle.  oh little girl, what fun we will have at disneyland one day!

you are mostly an independent player.  we are simply observers.  you swat at your dangley bugs, you nibble on your toys, and you suck on your thumb while chatting away.  every so often, you allow us to be a part of playtime.  and that is pure delight.  but i do love how content you are to kick and squawk and entertain yourself.  and playtime has become much more exciting these days because you are so much mor active and squiggly.  you like to do an exaggerated flip from side to side to show off those baby obliques.  and you like to press the bottoms of your feet together and hold them up in the air while you hum and coo.  then, you will take in as much air as you can and extend your legs and arms simultaneously to kick off your bicycling legs action while you exhale and make rapid panting puppy dog sounds.  after all that is done, you will let out a big sigh before getting back into it.  this time, you add in a backbend/scoot which allows you to shift your body and move yourself in little circles.  major cirque du soleil moves going on.

and once you have tired yourself out, you move your head to the side and stare off into the distance while breathing slowly and deeply – and occasionally rubbing your little eyes.  this is when we get to swoop in and scoop you up for a nap.  these few moments are the best.  you sigh and nuzzle and grab onto our shirt and melt into a little ball of sweetness.  all that energy dissipates and you become a calm and sleepy thing who just wants to cuddle for a bit.  and so, we squeeze you and dance with you and you smile.  and then, in goes the thumb and you drift off into sleepyland.  being a baby is tiring, after all.  and you love your sleep.

you adore your stroller.  you love excursions.  lunches, shopping, walks, whatever.  the fresh air agrees with you and you seem to really enjoy listening to the din of the world from the comfort of your stroller {with your little mozart the monkey companion, of course}.  i want you to know that your parents SO appreciate your accommodating and contented spirit.  you go with the flow and let us take you wherever we go.  we hope that you will always enjoy traveling, meeting new people, and experiencing new things.  may you maintain that sense of adventure.  may you always be confident and bold as you explore and enjoy the world that God has created.

and the faces, oh the faces.  as your personality emerges more and more, your expressions are becoming more meaningful.  you don’t just give us involuntary facial spasms.  you do it with purpose.  you furrow your brow, you roll your eyes, you smile sweetly, you shoot us a sideways glance, you raise an eyebrow…each expression is a distinct communication. we love it.  and we hope that you always flex your expression muscles.  we like a good dramatic face around here.

love, love, love,

your mama + your papa

my funny valentine

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this time last year, unbeknownst to us, this little sweetheart was busy growing away in my belly.  just one week later, we would learn that our life was about to change.  no longer would we celebrate life as just a family of two.  soon, our lives would be blessed and enriched with a precious little life.  a new love that we had never experienced.  hubby and i have always enjoyed celebrating valentine’s day {a excuse to clink fancy flutes of bubbly and nibble on chocolate} but we are so excited that we now get to pour out some love on our little.

oh elinor, you have already brought us such joy.  you make us laugh.  you make us sigh.  you make our hearts swell with love with every gurgle, coo, and smile.  we just love you so much.

dear peanut {three months}

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happy three month anniversary, sweet one.

so, you are three months old now.  it is remarkable how much you process each and every day and how much you absorb and grow.  you change so quickly.  your little mind is expanding. you are moving so fast.

you are smitten with your left hand.  mostly, your little thumb.  which has become the cutest little soggy digit that you ever did see.  such joy and admiration.  you lie on your back and study each little finger while you hold your hand up just marveling at the beauty. i hope you’ll always understand that it doesn’t take nail polish and trinkets to be pretty and interesting.  you are fearfully and wonderfully made.  beautiful just as you are.  a darling little lovely from God.  may you always marvel at His works.

{and then, you stuff your thumb in your mouth and gurgle}

you like to sit up and look around.  your head bobs a bit and you tighten your tummy.  this vantage point amuses you for a spell and then you are over it and wish to return to your squirmy mat where you and kick and semi-flip and do mini-backbends and flap like a hummingbird and bat at your dangly bug friends.  you are charming.

you make faces all the time.  in fact, it is difficult to get a normal and non-swishy looking photo of you because your face is always moving around.  i end up taking about 300 rapidfire shots and almost everyone looks drastically different.  i think you get that dramatic face from your mama.  sorry.  it comes in handy for stage work but it can make the photogenic thing for everyday life a bit of a problem.  i hope that you learn to embrace this hyper-expressiveness.  it will make for some very lively pictures.

every once in a while, i have a flash of what you will look like during your sassy teen years.  you shoot me a sideways glance, curl your upper lip, lift your brows, and dramatically roll those big eyes of yours in the other direction.  and sometimes you even shift your body weight while doing so and give me “the hand”.  cheeky little thing.  but then, you roll right back my way and flash that giggly, toothless grin and all is well.

by the way, you have already discovered the manipulative power of a strategically placed cry.  every so often, you will give us a sad little look, whimper, turn on the tears, and pull out the pièce de résistance – the pouty lip.  you aren’t much of a crier but when you do, it is kind of heartbreaking.  we aren’t fans of the cry.  and we try to resist the urge to say “oooohhhh…” and hop, skip, jump into some kind of pathetic parenting action.  but as i mentioned, that pièce de résistance gets us every time.  oh little girl.

also, you talk all the time.  all. the. time.  you talk to the buddies.  you talk to your papa.  you talk to your fingers {by default since they are in your mouth all the time these days} you talk to the crawleys of downton.  you talk to the record player.  you talk to your blanket.  you talk to your books.  and you love to talk to the art in your room.  your new favorite is to take a conversational break while i am feeding you.  you pause, give me that demure smile of yours, and then we have a little chat while you stare at your art.  like a fancy little connoisseur or museum curator.  currently, you seem to have an affinity for “the peanut riding a unicorn” piece.  but i’m sure your tatses will continue to evolve.

a few weeks ago, you added another sound to your vocal repertoire – the velociraptor squawk.  but it is like a glitter-covered, big pink bow wearing, magical fairy dust version.  high-pitched squeals of delight.  your eyes dialate.  your arms begin to flap wildly.  your legs and teeny toes get into the action too.  you get the whole body working and then emit the largest giggly screech.  so cute.

you are becoming more and more interactive and delightful.  we can carry on conversations.  you sing along with music.  you giggle when you get tummy raspberries.  you look around the room when we dance.  and you wrap your little fingers around our shirt when we hold you – you cling to us.  and oh, we sure are attached to you.  we love you little girl.

love, love, love,

your mama + your papa