good day to you ladies and gents. mr. charles here.
you have probably noticed an absurd lack of my presence on this online life journal. it is not for lack of effort or content on my part, no sir. i have dropped hint after hint. i have made my way into picture after picture. doing something that mum calls, “photobombing” or some other such nonsense. alas, my presence is sadly lacking. i suppose that i am rubbish. old news. i used to be the star! a staple in this space. featured almost weekly. hmmmm…am i going the way of the cheeseburger on here? when was the last time you saw one of those? exactly. apparently, my parents are playing out some kind of awkward identity crisis or quarter-life crisis or transition. well, i for one am not in favor of such antics. i am far too excellent to be overlooked. i was here first. i have dibs. and i refuse to go the way of the cheeseburger, relegated to a here-or-there mention. i declare! bring back the classics. give us our due!
sure, that tiny human is likeable. but i am much more affable, wouldn’t you agree? she barely has enough fur to cover her huge head. and where are all her teeth? ha! not even a full set of teeth. laughable. and yet, this “elinor” gets to enjoy primo lap placement. she makes some “aaaauup!” sound, lifts her arms to the sky, and nods her head…and mum instantly acquiesces to her tyrannical demands. absurd. mum lifts her up and plops her on her lap and reads story after story to her. what about me? where did my lap go? i was bred for lap lounging! i have yet to determine what this “elinor” was bred for… but the lap, that is my thing. my territory. and now, i am forced to compete for real estate with this little Napoleon.
enough, i say! case in point: on a particularly chilly day, a week or so ago, mum sat on the floor during playtime and covered herself in a furry blanket. oh! the ideal lap! the “elinor” was busy with her blocks and i decided to make my move. carpe the lap! in a swift and smooth motion, i was there. curled up. happy. i gazed dreamily into mum’s eyes to convey just how joyous an ocassion this was. and then, sacrebleu! the “elinor” spotted me. clearly, she was overcome with envy and instantly made her way to my happy place, determined to foil my bliss. she gave a few feeble attempts to climbing up on mum’s lap, but i was steadfast. i would not make room. this is not a sharing situation.
but then, that tiny human pulled out the pièce de résistance. she delicately stroked my fur, flashed me her quasi-toothed grin, and then placed her head on my back. this, this is “the hug”. so sweet. so sneaky. and yes, i caved. i made room for that “elinor”. and surprisingly, there was enough space for both of us. sigh. i suppose that i can share my mum’s lap from time to time. i do believe that those elinor hugs are worth it.
until next time! which is hopefully much sooner than the last time…